The past week and a half have been really stressful for me. I chose my courses so I would be busy. I figured that I would be more productive if I had more things demanded of me. And that works most of the time. These past couple of weeks it hasn’t.

I’m juggling an essay, research for an MUN conference and my dissertation all writing-wise and plenty of reading. There’s a stack of books on my desk, four of which either mention “intervention” or “genocide” in the title, the other on Oral History. And so, when I get bored or stuck with one project I hop to another, all the while hoping that I get enough done to constitute progress.

And I have made progress. I’m halfway through a critique of the United Nations in the 1990s (due the 21st), over a fourth through my dissertation (due April 26th) and I am decently into my research for Scotland MUN (position paper due the 20th). But it’s not enough for me. I wish I had the time to just finish each thing before moving on to the next, but that’s not how it works – that’s never how it works.

I have also been plagued by homesickness this week. It’s not warm by any means in Iowa. But it is sunny. I miss that – I miss sun. And I really miss my parents. I miss being 3 and a half hours away so that when I have a really, really bad week, they can come up over a weekend and remind me just how much I’m loved. I miss being able to call my mother before 2 in the afternoon because I’m in the same time zone. I would give just about anything to have a huge crushing hug from my mom or to hold hands with my dad as we go grocery shopping. I miss my sister too, but in a different way.

I know exactly why I am so homesick. I always get homesick when stressed. I want the comfort of home to hide away from the stress and I can’t do that when I’m 4,000 miles away. There’s also the matter of Spring Break (Easter Break for you Brits). I’m spending the first week in Malta as a treat to myself, but my parents were suppose to come for part of the time. Due to circumstances out of anybody’s control, really, they aren’t coming. I have two weeks I now need to fill. 

I know that as I get things done, things crossed off my list, I will feel better. And going to London MUN this weekend is probably going to be a great reminder of how much fun I have here in Aber and how bored I would be in Iowa. But for now, it’s a pile of work and one homesick Ann.